“In the Cemetary Where Al Jonson is Buried” by Amy Hempel is a short story about taking care of a loved one experiencing the process of dying. It resonated with me, as when I read it I had recently spent a month taking care of a dying loved one.
One of the most terrible things you can feel in that circumstance is “fed up.” That’s one of the real tragedies of this type of care, because anyone not trained in hospice care, and even some of those who are, are bound to feel fed up at some point.
My favorite moment in the story is probably when the narrator was describing watching old movies, and ends the section with “I missed her already.” This is the most difficult part of the dying process to explain to people, but also one of the most understood. It’s something that comes with any sort of expected loss, as anyone who’s graduated anything could tell you. The phrase “I missed her already” perfectly captures the mixed-up feelings of pre-grief.