One of the best parts of Nell Boeschenstein’s “A Few Words About Fake Breasts” is the entire paragraph she designated to the different names for breasts.
There are, it seems, many words for the real deals: melons, jugs, hooters, tits, titties, cans, the girls, rack, knockers, fried eggs, tatas, bosoms, bazookas, bazingas, bazongas, ninnies, grenades, guns, pillows, boom booms, Grand Tetons, dirty pillows, gazongas, tittyboppers, love monkeys, funbags, balloons, bam bams, milk jugs, milkshakes, the twins, tee-tees, cha-chas, chi-chis, chesticles, coconuts, Sacco and Vanzetti, Simon and Garfunkel, Larry and Balki, Bonnie and Clyde, Starsky and Hutch, Lucy and Ethel, Cheech and Chong, Laverne and Shirley, Wayne and Garth, Bill and Ted, goodyears, lemons, limes, bongos, flea bites, double lattes, Hindenburgs, Golden Globes, Oprah Winfreys, Lois Lanes, sweater-stretchers, lady bubbles, smothers brothers, Liberty Bells, park-and-rides, baby busters, silver dollars, little rascals, milk duds, bouncy castles, twin peaks, baby buffets, jingle bells, shoulder boulders, honey hams, samosas, kahunas, bubbies, bumpers, boobs, breasts . . .”
This was the most entertaining part of the whole essay and made me laugh while reading it. I even had to reread it a few times and once out loud to my roommate because it was just so funny. I really enjoy how Boeschenstein took what could have been a somber essay and added a paragraph just to make the reader laugh. I also appreciated how she used a few of the words listed in that paragraph throughout her essay instead of just repeatedly using breasts.
– mirror, mirror – the most ballsy, the most badass, the most empowered
of them all.”
This would also have to be a second favorite line of mine. Again through the hard things she describes in this essay she manages to continue to keep it light and not completely sad and depressing. While I’m sure it would have been extremely difficult keeping a light and cheerful attitude when she was going through this, it is nice to know that she got to the place in her life after this happened to be at peace with it and able to talk about it in the way that she did. It definitely shows her bravery and strength.